The other day...

This boy at my school he is suck a... How to put it nicely? Oh, yeah a jerk! He can be nice occasionally but other times I just want to slap him and say who the hell are you? He is really hot I'll give him that, but the thing is why can't there be a boy who is both hot and nice? I douht there is a guy like that out there. I always wonder how can a boy sit there with his machoness and not realize that there are girls out there, hot girls I might add, that just want a boy who will hold them and tell them they love them. Why can't they see that girls are eigther made a tea cup or a coffee mug? I, to be honest, am a mug. I'm a cowgirl and they don't cry! That don't mean that I don't want to have some one to love me! That what I feel! What's your oppinion?

ho hum

Lordy Lordy Lordykins! Ugh I hate how every one trys to be some one that they are not! It annoys me! They don't even know who they are or what they are it pisses me off!!! They think they rule the freakin world when they don't even own themselves! They should take that ego and shove it up their ASS! It make me mad to see so many people turn. But my best friend, whom i swear could be my twin, brought up a good topic. You see we have this "Group" and she said "when your with them don't you feel you have to be somebody. I mean like you feel you have to be them to be their friends. It's stupid they make people feel that way then they turn on you and hate you it doesn't make sense"
"Nothing those people do makes sense" I sighed as I said it and I knew it was true because it is true and its sad I don't like it! If any one out there can help me understand wont they help please? I can't be in the dark much longer! So some one help!

Bye!!!

Goodbye. That simple word can mean either so much or nothing at all. To me though its big!! I do know that it can't last forever paths cross again sometime but you have to understand it can hurt or it can make you stronger. It has made me tougher in more ways than one! I dump guys they dump me! What do we do when that happens? Well I laugh it off because it does not matter!!! I have the rest of my life to live and that's what I want to do! I don't want to be held down because a boy says goodbye! You shouldn't either!

Friends!!!!!!!!!

Hee Hee! Don't you love your friends? I do! I love all my friends! And you all know who you are! So don't pretend! hee hee! Well I think you all have my back cuz you all no I have yours!

An All New Life

I remember the day I had to switch schools. The boys from my old school were well boys. They did things and it drove me to the point of insanity! I remember being so afraid of going to school that I would cry every morning. I got tired of what the boys would do to me that i eventually told! Yes i no you all think I'm a snitch but, the thing is I respect myself and I didn't like were I was going! When I told my mom she was very understanding and kind. To tell ya the truth that was the first time in a long time I had seen her like that! The vice principal of my old school also understood my side he was very nice and i spent a lot of time in his office! The principal wasn't so nice! Any way my mom gave me two options 1. I could either go back to the hell hole i called school or 2. Go to another school. Guess what i chose? Well i wasn't about to go back to the hell hole if that's what your thinking! No, I chose to go to another school. I thought that i could create an all new me! Well i was half right! I did create an all new me! One that most every one hated! I couldn't blame them I tried to be some one I am clearly nawt! I told lies, tried to become popular, ruined my friendships, ruined others friendships, and started dating losers but that was the person that I called me! All that time I would try to hold my head high and smile! I hid behind a mask and no one ever knew! You know why? The idiots never ASKED! They just laughed like I was some nut job, some wacky nut job! I couldn't blame them on that either i WAS some wacky nut job. I would cry myself to sleep every night every flippen night! I got that same feeling i had from back at my old school. That sinking feeling in my stomach like some bad stomach ache that couldn't go away no matter how many pills I took! Then some time in march I was told news that would make me think and re-evaluate the thing that i had become! I was told I have a disease called R.A.! Do not ask me what it is I will not explain it! I had to quit volleyball quit P.E. (which i didn't mind to much), and I was told i would have to get blood taken every 2 months! I hate needles and they are not fun to me! Then I was told i would be taking 8 pills every friday then 2 pills every saturday! I have never been a drug addict and never will be! The only good thing that came out of this was the fact that I would have to ride horses more because they help lower stress! Believe me I took to that real well! No joke! Then by about May I started to stop caring all together about life. I stoped thinking what life would be like if I was no longer here on earth on who would miss me! Then at the end of may I finally got myself back together I and I tried I truly tried to change and thank heavens I did. I am now very happy with the real me and I have some great friends to prove it!!!